January 2016

We kicked the year off at the Passion Conference being Door Holders. We walked out of there on the last day and exclaimed to each other: We could do this forever!

We might get the chance with the way things are going. 

Working in ministry is not for the faint of heart, the weak, the timid, neither is it for the powerful, the mighty, or the strong....it's for people who love Jesus and He has called them to a certain place, people group, area. Strength to follow that calling rises and falls at the foot of the cross - it's the only place to find community, solace, refuge, and forgiveness - it's also the place you find Jesus, and through that cross you are able to be what He needs you to be - following Him at every cost.

Ministry should be is for those who want to devote their work to furthering the kingdom. 

I wasn't dating Jeremy when he got his call to ministry, but I love it when he recounts the story to me of how he was sitting in a church on a Sunday morning and on that day, he knew. He knew God was leading him to ministry and God was using the pastor of that church to proclaim that. Much like walking out of the Passion Conference earlier this month, my calling was to serve...and I remember sitting on the airplane leaving the country/village/people that I had just spent 5 weeks ministering to, and it was like I couldn't let them go. I knew I had to go home, but I wanted so desperately to stay. Fairly certain I said out loud - I could do this forever! That same moment happened a few years ago when I was leading small groups in our youth ministry...one summer I felt like I couldn't let them go. And so for the next four years I served them....

Those days will come to a close soon. And not because God has called us elsewhere to serve. 

Hear me when I say, He is answering my prayer. He is going to answer my prayer.

It is coming at the cost of some deep friendships, but He is answering us. 
It is painful, but He is with us. 
I cry a lot, but God is wiping my tears and storing them in a bottle.
I want this all to end. 
I am not mad. 
But I am so very disappointed. And I am hurt. 
We all are. 
Lying to people is unacceptable. Hurting people is not right. 


But God...


And in time, I will trust that more and more God is continuing to answer us, and Jeremy will see clearly how He has answered us. 
Till then, we wait.


Proverbs 31 Ministries: 

Fear Suffocates. But God breathes life and hope.

Margaret Feinberg:

I cannot stay where I am and follow God at the same time; responding requires movement.

-Karen

Your will Lord, not ours.