We are really going to do this.
I can't believe we are really going to do this.
I have mixed emotions. One minute I am just sitting here talking, the next minute I am crying, the next I am full blown rocking myself like a part of me just died, and then I am asleep.
Jesus is so good, y'all.
Jesus. Is. Good.
Even when the circumstance doesn't feel good. I trust that His plan is for me.
I can honestly say that and not hesitate, and without throwing up in my mouth every few days.
The enemy is not good though and he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And he thought he would invade a group of people and that the end would be destruction for our family, BUT. GOD.
But, God.
But, God....He knew all of this would take place and He drew us close to himself in the darkest of days, and even the months leading up to that. When we had no words (hard to believe, I know) we sat in silence and weeped over what might be. It took a few days and conversations with our best friends, but eventually we stood on our own feet and lifted our hands in praise to Him; we began looking to the future and today had to be part of that.
It's never goodbye; it's always see you again.
But it is finished. Tetelastai.
Is this grief?
Dear Lord, it's so overwhelming.
All of us are grieving. Every momma part of me is in mama bear mode - protecting my babies is most important....and yet I could not protect them from hearing Jeremy read a document that he wrote in some of the darkest days for our family. The days we felt unloved by leaders, uncared for by some friends, and days where if Jesus didn't carry us each day, the enemy would certainly devour us. I needed to be standing next to my babies in the pew, but I also needed to hold my husband's hand while he commanded the room for 2 minutes. We asked our closest friends to be sure to be present...and I stood where I could see my babies and my best friends and I knew Jesus was with us. I kept saying over and over "Your will be done Lord" even when I thought I was going to have to read the note myself.
I looked over the most sweetest faces in my Sunday School class this morning - some of them knew what is around the corner, and the others, well they were surely blindsided by it. My heart aches for them.
BUT, GOD.
Dear Lord, it's so overwhelming.
All of us are grieving. Every momma part of me is in mama bear mode - protecting my babies is most important....and yet I could not protect them from hearing Jeremy read a document that he wrote in some of the darkest days for our family. The days we felt unloved by leaders, uncared for by some friends, and days where if Jesus didn't carry us each day, the enemy would certainly devour us. I needed to be standing next to my babies in the pew, but I also needed to hold my husband's hand while he commanded the room for 2 minutes. We asked our closest friends to be sure to be present...and I stood where I could see my babies and my best friends and I knew Jesus was with us. I kept saying over and over "Your will be done Lord" even when I thought I was going to have to read the note myself.
I looked over the most sweetest faces in my Sunday School class this morning - some of them knew what is around the corner, and the others, well they were surely blindsided by it. My heart aches for them.
BUT, GOD.
Jesus is so good, y'all.
Jesus. Is. Good.
Even when the circumstance doesn't feel good. I trust that His plan is for me.
I can honestly say that and not hesitate, and without throwing up in my mouth every few days.
The enemy is not good though and he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And he thought he would invade a group of people and that the end would be destruction for our family, BUT. GOD.
But, God.
But, God....He knew all of this would take place and He drew us close to himself in the darkest of days, and even the months leading up to that. When we had no words (hard to believe, I know) we sat in silence and weeped over what might be. It took a few days and conversations with our best friends, but eventually we stood on our own feet and lifted our hands in praise to Him; we began looking to the future and today had to be part of that.
It's never goodbye; it's always see you again.
But it is finished. Tetelastai.
--Karen
Your Will Lord, not ours.
No comments:
Post a Comment