Thanksgiving

Shelley Giglio has the coolest friends! Monday night at the GROVE she shared more of them with us! Ann Voskamp was in the house and her words were a gift to my soul.  I have read parts of One Thousand Gifts and the other three ladies I was with had never heard of it. Basically it was a dare from a friend for her to find a thousand things to be thankful for...but it ended up turning in to something so much more. A life filled with God's good grace pouring out each and every day...a life reflecting the Son and His glory...and searching for Jesus imprints every where you turn.

She challenged us to Give Thanks...

In the everyday

That's easy...My husband for sure. He is absolutely top notch.
My two boys - why yes. They are two of the best gifts ever.

In the good stuff

My office - oh yes.
My besties - for sure.
My chicks, why of course!
All the good things....

But then she asked us to Give Thanks for the not so good.
Wait.
What?
I heard what she said, but Lord, surely she didn't mean that?

And Jesus, like He does in my life, nudges that deep part of me. That part I want hidden...even from Him. It brings the tears and the darkness to the front and shines a big ole spotlight on it.
I felt God asking me if I am going to give Him thanks for the bad.

It was so very clear to me that I have given thanks to Him for so much this year...but it was about thanking Him for even the stuff that was horrible and painful and hurtful that He allowed us to walk through.
I knew He was and still is working all things together for the good of those who love Him.
I knew He provided an open door in a way like only He could. 
The timeline wasn't news to Him, and we knew He could work it out, even as tight and constrained as we were feeling.
My tears were flowing...and I couldn't write it down.

I kept saying....But, the pain...

But, the hurt...

But, the lost friendships...

And even into the next night as I went to bed, my tears were still flowing.
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As I awoke Tuesday, my thoughts were of immediate gratitude for the day. I spent the morning in a blissful state of thanksgiving....and it didn't take long for that nudging to appear again. God is relentless in His pursuit of us! And praise the Lord for that! 
We don't deserve it, and He doesn't need us....but He desires for us to be an active participant for HIs plans and purposes...and He doesn't want us staying in a pit.
Story after story in the scriptures you will find people who chose to give thanks in the midst of turmoil and tragedy. Their faith was placed in a God who sustains their soul, a loving Father and a Good Shepherd, a just God that gives and takes away, but also a God who is about restoration, a forgiving God who loved them enough to send HIs only Son to pay the penalty of sin, so that we could have LIFE. 

Jesus wants that for me. He also wants that for you.

Just being real here:
Thanking Him for the pain means more than acknowledging what He allowed through His hands. It's the trust factor that was missing, and this night tied it all together for me. For several weeks we would sing a song in worship that said these words:

We trust you.We trust you.Your ways are higher than our own.

Every.Single.Time. I would well up with tears and not be able to speak those words. It was like this inner battle each time and it left me gripped with fear that the day would ever come where those words would be true. In my mind I knew those words were truth! Of course we trust you Lord! Of course your ways are higher! But speaking them in worship and being unhindered or free was a difficult space I was navigating. 

Ahh...but the Thanksgiving piece (or peace) was the missing component. Putting it all together, wrapping it up in a nice little bow, and allowing me the freedom in the searching - well, it was just another reminder of how much He loves me. 

I sat down this week to give Thanks...in the everyday, in the good, and even in the bad and hurtful times - and with that came tears of joy and a deeper trust in the One who lavishly loves me.

Giving thanks,

Karen